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We Will Disappear

by BarCreeps

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1.
Foreverest 01:03
I felt sinkingly as if my whole life lay behind me. I wondered if I had not come a long way only to find that what I really sought was something I had left behind. Higher and higher and higher and higher. I thought, if we keep going we might disappear through a hole in the sun. Burnt away like cloud vapour in the morning. No one should have known we were ever here.
2.
Bone Haulage 03:59
Bone hauling bodies to heaven Under a sharkwater sky I offer my tears to the mountain Let me summit and leave with my life I was ready to see angels But I did not expect your shape to move Now I want to hold you I want to carry you down Though I can’t save you I will try my best to bring you home Bone hauling bodies from heaven Hell is high above the divine The frayed veins around rainbow skeletons Whip in the wind that will skin you alive I was hoping to be sacred But my humanity let me down Now I want to hold you I want to carry you down Though I can’t save you I will try my best to bring you home
3.
Driving through the city everything still looks the same But sure as how these mountains lie I'm crushed beneath the blame I talk to the heavens hoping that the children hear I want to hold them safe because I know there's no god there But they are airhearts Nothingness in the earth now Active shooter born of me These memories won't let me be Every mother loves her son But you made me hurt for everyone On the day that our lives changed you didn’t say goodbye Running out into dark morning, on your way to die It's sickening the guilt I feel as your last movements creep To CCTV stillness, then your grainy black blood seeps You are hatred Just a name enshrined in bloodshed Active shooter born of me These memories won't let me be Brought a plague upon our home But still this mother loves her son Entry team is here Get the victims clear Taking down the predator This site's on lockdown Shoot to kill shooter
4.
Charismata 00:28
5.
When I was a boy I had a thought Did the whores outside our church believe in god? At seventeen I asked them for their view At the foot of the bed I knelt like in a pew They'd breathe my name I felt a higher calling Soft Latin tongues Blessedly anointing me Little Monsignor Catherine, Gabrielle, Aurelie Good names that show our parents' piety I went from john to plying the trade Taking tithes from all my girls to keep them safe So many ways To make an easy living They'd blame irate Catholic flagellation By Little Monsignor Here's my confession I make no concession I'm brutal and unashamed If the lord stands in judgement It doesn't make a difference I have no soul to save I'm Little Monsignor
6.
TGN1412 03:19
Where are the men responsible for putting me in this hell? I must thank them for their reckless and selfish pursuit of profit to no end Where are the men of the portmanteau corporation? So named to double barrel legal action Their defence a shotgun blast settlement Out of body Ashen meat suit But I was going to be a father soon! I just wanna come home to you I don’t wanna die in ICU I will be a better me On my homecoming In my second skin I love you Where are the men behind TGN1412? Absolved of blame in the near death of six wage slaves Their hides were saved But their reckonings delayed Out of body Ashen meat suit But I was going to be a father soon! I just wanna come home to you I don’t wanna die in ICU I will be a better me On my homecoming In my second skin I love you
7.
Griffin 04:59
4:30am The Griffin dawns again Sleep is alien Awake 89 hours and counting Red-eyed buildings gleam Bitter chill under my skin My blood is thin and weak Anti-circadian charts trouble my screens The Griffin it is pleased We bring offerings of greed Unsteady on my feet Arrhythmia in my chest makes money hard to breathe Heaven knows what love is But heaven is a heart attack I'm sure Good reason to abandon my positions And lead me clear above the buildings Where insomnia won't dare Don't CPR me back to work on that damn trading floor 12:30am There's no sign of an end Excel sheets a blur A billion light hours and I'm dying The balance sheet is full Fit to burst with capital But everyone is poor Rich labour chained to never-ending, mind-numbing chores Heaven knows what love is But heaven is a heart attack I'm sure Good reason to abandon my positions And lead me clear above the buildings Where insomnia won't dare Don't CPR me Feel the wrath of the Griffin
8.
Stringer 02:17
Morning sunrise sirens are the city’s birds The triumph of a night spent chasing accidents I hold your tiny body tight Don’t be like your father, honey I am the thin man who puts a hex on you With psychopathic eyes my lens is always true I thrive where cars horror collide I get the odd days When your mum’s out of town I keep the cards from your birthdays To hold the past close as you grow I am the archangel bad man I have an instinct for when There is blood to be captured on film and then shown on the news And the victim is always a young girl Don’t be like your father, honey There’s no fast lane Just reckless young men Tyre marks on cement Broken hearted parents
9.
On a coastal path, high above the water, I watched a swimmer crossing the bay. I could hear nothing except the far-off sounds of families on the beach and the waves gently breaking on the shore. I remember thinking, this is heaven - above the earth, in the sun, observing life below. A shadow followed the swimmer, getting closer. There was a flash of white, as the surface of the water was disturbed, and the swimmer and the shadow disappeared. I was paralyzed with fear and fascination as fishermen, shouting beneath me, turned their boat to the spot where the swimmer had been. Later, I heard that the man had died, after he was pulled from the ocean. He was a local doctor. The shadow was a white shark. To me, it had been simply a black, silent shape shimmering beneath the blue water. In Heaven life is always good. But I thought about the doctor and his death in the jaws of the white shark as I lay awake at night. I imagined I was him, with the roar of the sky in his ear as he turned his head to take a breath. And then, what? A violent bump - something wrong! - as he was dragged from his steady progress by a thing more powerful than himself? Did he feel the sandpaper skin, or see its jaws coming towards him as he looked down his body in motion? Did the adrenalin hit his heart and numb the pain? Was he convinced of the goodness of mankind as the fishermen dragged him dying from the water, or was the horror of it all too quick to contemplate? To observe from heaven is not enough. I want to know the terror, to taste it. I want to be that terrible shadow. In Heaven life is always good.
10.
I am scared of dying Of being the old that’s cleared for the new I am scared of dying Don’t wanna knock on heaven’s door too soon I am unashamed What can beat the summer air, still and warm upon your face? Sing glory and praise To the human race and for my time on earth which is a privilege I am scared of dying Of losing those I love before I do I am scared of dying Of feeling incomplete when my time’s through I am unacclaimed I’m a hitchhiker at dawn on a dusty open road Freedom is young and dumb I’m waiting for a ride to take me into the beautiful unknown I shouldn’t be afraid
11.
We will disappear Fading into twilight dancing down aeon's light years We will defeat fear A legacy remembered by our successor species

about

He erected a temple to his god but found he could not worship inside. ‘It is better to begin than to remember’, he resolved. To start anew from nothing and build. 

credits

released March 6, 2020

Recorded and mixed by Wayne Adams at Bear Bites Horse Studios, London.

Synthsnstuff on Foreverest, Charismata, Little Monsignor, Griffin and We Will Disappear by Wayne.

Foreverest quotes words from Thomas F. Hornbein's book Everest: The West Ridge.

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BarCreeps London, UK

'At times I wondered if I had not come a long way only to find that what I really sought was something I had left behind'.

Thomas F. Hornbein

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